I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. I’m about to move from Seattle, WA down to Santa Cruz, CA within the next few weeks. There is an interesting calmness to picking up and moving again. I’m noticing how this time I’m following something instead of trying to get away from something. In all of the moving around from Seattle to Chicago, Chicago to Atlanta, and Atlanta back to Seattle I noticed how I kept moving away from discomfort. I would wait and get more and more uncomfortable until I couldn’t take it anymore and then I would choose something different.
In my spiritual community, I read and hear about how pain is a big motivator to get us to make change. It’s almost like its a way to justify all the pain that happens. Like we need pain in order to make a change. We need the bad to appreciate the good. I don’t agree that this is the only way to make a change. For some reason a lot of people are scared of change. Fear of the unknown. I get it, but the unknown is where possibilities and new experiences lie.
I was having a conversation with my friend Katie and I was talking about how what if we moved towards what it is that we want instead of moving away from what it is that we don’t want. We make a choice instead of react. There is a path laid out in front of us and if we quiet ourselves down we can see and hear the guidance that is being given to us. You must be willing to be open to the new possibilities and be willing to follow it. You have to let go of the ideas that you have planned out for yourself.
I realized in this conversation with Katie, that I allowed for myself to be open and to hear the guidance and doors opening up for me. I had noticed awhile ago that I was starting to think about moving again. The awareness started to come up, so I allowed it too. I would bring up the idea of moving and think about it every once in awhile. Where would I want to live? I allowed for the possibility to be there, and kept it in the background for awhile.
Back in May my father-in-law came to visit us and he had mentioned a few times to us that maybe we should move somewhere else again. It was just in passing, conversation. I took note, but didn’t put too much thought into it. Then my mother-in-law moved down to southern Utah with her sister and while we were helping her pack up everything there was a few times that we let her know that she is always more then welcome to come and visit us in Seattle and each time she would say “if you’re even still there”. I thought it was a funny thing for her to say, because we hadn’t really talked about moving or even thrown around possibilities, and we’d been back in Seattle for 5 years again and didn’t seem like we were leaving anytime soon. I paid attention though. I noticed that she said it a few times and so I started to think to myself, “well, if we’re not in Seattle, then where would we be?”
We also were going to have to move from the current house we are renting. The owners are going to sell the house, so that also brought up the question of we have to move, so where do we want to move our stuff to? I noticed the possibilities that were presenting themselves and I opened the door. I brought it up to Kier and then everything changed. It was no longer a possibility that we were moving, it was going to happen. We just needed to be open to where and when. We wanted to move somewhere warmer, on the west coast close to the ocean, and somewhere with a laid back vibe. We thought San Diego was the place for us. It has everything we’re looking for and we have friends that live there. Perfect.
About three weeks after we decided we’re going to move Kier gets a call from his boss who asks him if he’d be interested in a new position in the company he works for and if he’d be willing to relocate to……CALIFORNIA! Kier interviewed for the job, loved what he would be doing and we said yes! We followed the energy and paid attention to the gentle nudges that were leading us. Now we’re moving down to Santa Cruz, CA as soon as we find a new place to live. Don’t get me wrong sadness and fear has definitely been coming up, but I just look at it and acknowledge it, but still choose to have what’s opening up in front of me.
I’m ready for a new adventure and I can feel it there down this path. I’m allowing the sense of wonderment to lead me, instead of having to be pushed or forced to move. The mantra of just keep placing one foot in front of the other and keep moving has been going through my head. I can feel the expansiveness in the possibilities of moving. I also have a clip from Zoolander that keeps going through my head that keeps me moving forward and to not get distracted by fears and what if’s that come up. In this clip the beautiful people are the fears, and I need to just keep going straight and not allow myself to be pulled in the direction of the fears. My brain likes to find movie clips or song lyrics that will go through my head on repeat to help me to explain what I’m feeling or thinking. It helps me to not get too serious about myself sometimes.
I think it’s time that we connect deep into our selves and listen to the guidance that we are given. It’s time to let go of the ideas of how we think our lives should be, and start to follow the energy of who we are. What it is it that sets our souls on fire? What experiences do you want to have? As Derek Zoolander would say…